Ask and you shall receive 
Darn Tough socks have arrived and they come with a lifetime warranty. Can’t beat that!
Here is the request/impassioned plea that put it all in motion:
I was in the shop last week, and Jason set me up in a pair of Crosslites which I’m loving (definitely the most comfortable upper I’ve ever worn) and wishing I’d had them for the Uwharrie20. So thanks for that, but this note is to unashamedly beg you to start carrying Darn Tough socks. Really, no kidding, I’m outright begging and even have a little tear in my eye while I’m typing this note in hopes that you’ll sell me more of these socks.
I was on the Thirsty Thursday run when Tres demo’d the Mountain Masochists and also gave away some DT socks. I unsuspectingly took a pair since I’d never worn any type of wool gear (cycling/running jerseys, socks, nothing) and I figured a free pair would be the best way to confirm whether they would itch once I started sweating in them (which I had always assumed). Now I’ve become completely addicted to these socks and am resorting to wearing this one pair embarrassingly often and in conditions that repulse our dog and definitely wouldn’t pass Health Codes if I were a restaurant worker (e.g. a 40-hour stint of continuous wear that included two long, muddy trail runs, 2-ish days of casual wear and an overnight of sleeping in them — I’m not proud, and I fully admit that I’ve fallen a long way from basic human standards when it comes to these socks, but it’s not all my fault as I’ll explain below).
To confirm what I’m up against and that I’m not the only one in this pickle (and that I’m confident you’ll sell plenty of these socks once you start carrying them), I described my struggle to a friend in Boise, ID, who had mentioned Darn Tough socks some time ago. I told him how I hate to take them off and that I really only remove them when my wife demands them from me in order to wash them in the SuperAggressive washer cycle that usually includes most of my other running clothes, but that I promptly yank them from the dryer to get them back onto my feet pronto. He understood immediately and empathized since he had experienced the same addiction issues when he innocently came across DT socks at a local outdoor shop and wore them so continuously that he wore a hole in the heel, sent them back to Darn Tough for replacements (awesome guarantee), then wore those out as well while also somehow turning all his toes bright red (something his doctor described as “chronic excessive continuum of abrasive exposure to fine merino wool syndrome”, commonly known as “DT-itis”). He had to quit DTs cold turkey for nearly a year until he could resume a 12-step program of gradually reintroducing them into his wear cycle. Now he’s doing fine and has adjusted to wearing a more typical variety of socks, but he’ll always be a recovering DT-holic and is very worried about me and the slippery slope I’m undeniably on.
Clearly Bull City Running is partly (even mostly) to blame for my DT cravings and sad hygienic predicament since it introduced me to these socks but now won’t feed my pathetic jonesing since I’m limited to this one overwhelmed pair from Tres. In this case, the drug dealer-like “first one’s free” method of introducing a product to a naive customer has unquestionably produced a fast convert-turned-addict, but unlike Crack I can’t get any more DT socks from my Dealer. Makes me wonder if my “DT” abbreviation might also imply the dreadfully uncomfortable DeTox I’ll be going through if I don’t find a source soon for more Run/Bike No-Show Cushion #1416 socks in Light Grey, Natural and/or Black (just in case Tres didn’t tell you exactly what he pulled out of his goodie bag that evening).
If I don’t find a solution soon, I anticipate the Trailheads periodically coming across me lurching aimlessly and wide-eyed through CNF while wearing a pair of Crosslites and exceptionally tattered Darn Tough socks and mumbling gibberish about Bull City Running, one single pair of DTs, a once-happy, mainstream life and a rapid collapse after a seemingly innocent demo run with a sock rep.
Respectfully (but in kind of a desperate, demanding way),
-Michael Baucom
-Michael Baucom
PS — So really, will you please start carrying them??
One Comment
That’s hilarious. I’ll take four pair, please.